It is hard to make a confession about what I ate yesterday. First of all, I did research the pros and cons of eating fish and milk products and had decided from the many articles that fish was very important in ones diet and it has many nutrients such as B12’s and Omega 3’s. I decided to bring in fish products occasionally into my diet. So, I invited friends over last night for supper and I made a fish chowder. I started with the way I normally make soup with frying the onions and vegetables but I normally add vegetable stock to make soup, but this time I used chicken stock and two cups of milk. I added the haddock pieces to the soup. I made a big salad to go with it and some white garlic bread. I kept debating all day whether I should eat the soup or eat my lentil soup from the day before. When it came time to eat with my friends, I convinced myself that it was OK to eat the fish soup since I had not eaten any meat, fish or dairy products for 5 weeks. It is amazing how fast I convinced myself that it was OK to eat fish and milk. Well, I ate it and did not enjoy it that much. I had the salad but not the white bread during the meal.
After the meal I made yogurt with strawberries and poured a bit of maple syrup over the top. I did not have any yogurt, but only ate the strawberries. Now, it goes all downhill. I saw some pieces of bread that were left over on the table and around 9:30 PM ate those three pieces of garlic bread, just like that. What a bizarre behavior, or was it? This is my addictive behavior telling me that I have all already cheated with the fish soup so I might as well just kill myself with the bread. At that point my emotions take over and I begin to destroy myself. I am sure if I had any chocolate in the condo, I would have eaten that as well. Thank goddess for not having any junk foods when I am in a emotional turmoil.
Well, this morning when I got up, my knee hurt, my stomach is upset, I have diarrhea, feel bloated and just have this over all disrespect for myself. It feels like a hangover.
So, what have I learned from this? I do believe certain foods are poisons for my body. I just can not eat them. My friends and husband loved the soup and it did not make them sick. When I eat vegetables, whole grain products and legumes, my body is calmer and I feel so good.
One good note from this week. I did loose another pound. So, that is 12 pounds so far.