Confession and Eye Opener

It is hard to make a confession about what I ate yesterday.  First of all, I did research the pros and cons of eating fish and milk products and had decided from the many articles that fish was very important in ones diet and it has many nutrients such as B12’s and Omega 3’s.   I decided to bring in fish products occasionally into my diet.  So, I invited friends over last night for supper and I made a fish chowder.  I started with the way I normally make soup with frying the onions and vegetables but I normally add vegetable stock to make soup, but this time I used chicken stock and two cups of milk.  I added the haddock pieces to the soup.  I made a big salad to go with it and some white garlic bread.   I kept debating all day whether I should eat the soup or eat my lentil soup from the day before. When it came time to eat with my friends, I convinced myself that it was OK to eat the fish soup since I had not eaten any meat, fish or dairy products for 5 weeks.  It is amazing how fast I convinced myself that it was OK to eat fish and milk.  Well, I ate it and did not enjoy it that much.  I had the salad but not the white bread during the meal.

After the meal I made yogurt with strawberries and poured a bit of maple syrup over the top.  I did not have any yogurt, but only ate the strawberries.   Now, it goes all downhill.   I saw some pieces of bread that were left over on the table and around 9:30 PM ate those three pieces of garlic bread, just like that.  What a bizarre behavior, or was it?  This is my addictive behavior telling me that I have all already cheated with the fish soup so I might as well just kill myself with the bread.  At that point my emotions take over and I begin to destroy myself.  I am sure if I had any chocolate in the condo, I would have eaten that as well.  Thank goddess for not having any junk foods when I am in a emotional turmoil.

Well, this morning when I got up, my knee hurt, my stomach is upset,  I have diarrhea, feel bloated and just have this over all disrespect for myself.  It feels like a hangover.

So,  what have I learned from this?    I do believe certain foods are poisons for my body.  I just can not eat them.   My friends and husband loved the soup and it did not make them sick.   When I eat vegetables, whole grain products and legumes,  my body is calmer and I feel so good.

One good note from this week.  I did loose another pound.  So, that is 12 pounds so far.

Made a little detour

I was very confident when I went to this reception today. I thought that I could handle the food items that were being served.  Well, I did have a vegetarian sandwich.  It was tomatoes and vegetables on a croissant .  I know that I have decided to go gluten free but I just was hungry and made the decision to eat the sandwich.  I did not eat any of the sugary cookies.  I only ate a few pieces of fruit.   So, that is my confession.

So, tonight I am going right back to eating my good Quinoa for supper with lots of vegetables.   This was the first time that I fell off my path and I do not feel that bad because I had made the right choice when choosing the vegetarian sandwich and skipping the desserts.

TGIF, Wayne Dyer, and Positivity

Friday and the weekend is here!  I look back on weekend one and remember the dread I felt.  No wine!  No pizza!  No sugar!  Whatever will I do with myself to survive this boring weekend?!  Those anxieties are completely gone.  I was listening to my friend Wayne Dyer chatting through the speakers of my car today.  I like that guy a lot.  He reminds me of my dad, only bald.  Anyway, I was struck by something he said about turing your focus towards the positive.  An example he used was something like – don’t focus on not wanting to be addicted or fat or lazy, but rather change your focus to wanting to be healthy and vibrant and energetic.  The negative aspects will then sort themselves out without you worrying about them.  This is exactly what has happened to me.  The focus of this cleanse was for health and spiritual growth, and what “magically” happened without my stressing about it was losing weight, not being a slave to my drug of choice -alcohol, and being more patient with my family and myself.   I think it was in the documentary, Hungry for Change, that someone said to change your focus from “Oh poor me, I’m not allowed to eat wheat/sugar/meat/whatever,” to “I can eat all those thing, but I don’t choose to.”  That simple shift to the positive focus frees you.  I now understand that phrase “Give it over to god.”

Baby is happily babbling in his crib and mommy is enjoying her stuffed pepper leftovers for a late lunch.  I’m excited about the weekend!  Looking forward to all the shenanigans that I’ll get up to with the kiddies!

Day 20 and one more day to go

I went with my other daughter, who is visiting me, to Amador county and visited the wineries.  I was the designated driver since I don’t drink and then just watched my family have fun tasting wines.   We had a great time.  At lunch they had their big meat sandwiches and I had my mixed vegetables and a grain salad that I never had before.  I have to say that the food was bland and uninteresting.  My chi tea with coconut was delicious.   I really am getting into teas.   I did take some walnuts and dates with me for snacking.

When we got home the family wanted steak from Costco, so we bought steaks and made them with a big salad and a side dish of mushrooms with potatoes.  I had the salad, mushrooms and potatoes.   It really was not a problem.  I am getting used to my food and no longer feeling sorry for myself when I see others eating foods that I loved to eat.

Well tomorrow is my final day.  I am a little nervous about bringing back the coffee and a having few eggs.    I am going to be taking the vegan plan to a vegetarian plan since I am going to be introducing eggs.   I don’t think vegan’s eat egg products, even if they come from free roaming chickens that have a healthy lifestyle.  Anyway, that is what I will be doing and exploring the next three weeks.  I will continue with my blogging.

Meat eating and moral values

Well, today was a work day.  I felt tired today and that could be because I only had a apple, orange and banana all day.  I did have a tea this afternoon and it was so good.  I put some soy milk with water and had white tea with coconut.  Then this evening I had my left over squash.   It was much better because I put some soy milk over the top and it was very moist.

I was thinking a lot today about the notion of cutting out meat products from my diet and to keep going with this lifestyle.  There is so much being discussed about the way meat is processed and how animals are being treated with such a lack of dignity.  Why add pink slime to beef products? I think it is because cows are standing in their own manure up to their knees and getting all kinds of bacteria into their pores and then into the meat.  I can not believe that they add ammonia vapor to the meat to kill the bacteria.    Also, chickens are fed caffeine so that they will stay up all night to eat.  Then they are given anti-depressant drugs to offset the caffeine.   I can not believe that I have been eating chickens and cows that have totally been altered.  It is the same with the modified corn that is produced.  I think we have to make a decision to not eat any of those products out of respect for the life and environment of those animals.

NEW CHALLENGE – get hungry

For tomorrow, I suggest we challenge ourselves only to eat when hungry.  I realize this is what we are supposed to be doing in the cleanse anyway, but the last 2 days I have found myself mindlessly snacking on my pb rice  crackers while on the computer.  So, for me a good challenge would be – no eating while on the computer.  Stop mindless eating!

wonderful salad

For lunch I made a spinach and lettuce salad.  I used some of the Tahini sauce that I bought along with half an avocado.  The salad was delicious.  When I find something tastes really good, I tend to slow down because I want to savour it for as long a possible.   Now I am drinking my tea.  I have bought soy milk to add to my tea.

I also have to admit that I am still drinking one cup of coffee a day.  I used to drink 4 cups so have progressed to one cup after breakfast.  I bought soy milk to add to it instead of cows’ milk.  I do feel guilty about drinking coffee  but my head say’s that it is OK since I will not have any dairy products.  But, the guru’s in nutrition land insist that coffee is not good for the body.   Any thoughts????